February: Week 1 & 2. Dinner 5 & 6. Megan & Josh!
Oh gosh, I’ve been a week behind for 2 weeks now and I’ve decided to break the cycle by doing these two posts in one! That way, I’m back on track and ready to roll –err– dine!
Both Megan and Josh were great company and I hope they are both going to give me their blessings for combining both posts.
Also, happy belated Valentine’s day! As Shakespeare says “My love as deep; the more I give to thee, the more I have, for both are infinite” and by thee I mean all of you!
I laughed a lot while at Terzo Piano with Megan. Our email exchanges was only the prelude to great food and obnoxious laughs from me. Before I forget, always ask about the dessert at Terzo.
Megan and I have a friend in common and that’s how she found out about Salt Bread and Sami. Three weeks ago I sent out a mass email asking friends to share the project with their friends because I was running out of volunteers. I did so because a friend recommended that having a link between me and the diner will make it less likely for that person to cancel. That advice was the result me whining a bit about the number of cancellations that I’ve had to endure. I decided that that’s a good idea. At least until the project has had enough posts to be a good reference for strangers that have no immediate link to me.
So I emailed about 20 friends. One of them was Kip and he posted info about SBS on his Facebook profile (maybe you should too?). Megan emailed me once she saw the post on Kip’s Facebook. Few emails back and forth and we were all set. She later informed that she asked Kip if she would wound up dead on an alley. Thankfully Kip assured her she would be in good company.
I don’t know what it was about Megan but I felt comfortable with her so I just started my mouth diarrhea. After my dinner with Greg I realized that I should too talk to my new friends about myself. I can’t tell you what I told her because you should have dinner with me and find out for yourself. See…I’m becoming a better salesman for SBS, don’t you think?
I liked Megan even more when I found out what she does for a living. She works for an amazing organization called Erie Neighborhood House. It’s a community service agency that promotes a just and inclusive society by strengthening low-income, primarily Latino families through skill-building, access to critical resources, advocacy and collaborative action. That last part I took for Erie’s website because, let’s face it, I’m not that great at describing things. Being an immigrant myself I had so much admiration for what she does, especially since I didn’t have much help when I came to the US.
We talked a bit about my luck with strangers so far. I mentioned that I keep meeting all these great funny “non-singles” and as much as I’m happy with it, I wondered why that was the case. Well, thanks to Megan’s smarts (she’s married herself), we’ve concluded that SBS might sound a lot like a stranger trying to find a way into getting a date with someone. Oh yea… I am single!
Have you heard of the “any bread, any cheese, any jelly” grilled cheese theory? I haven’t until I met Megan. I was a bit skeptcial but she swore by it and said that any combination will result in an amazing grilled cheese. That night I went home and consulted Google. Turns out Foodnetwork agrees with Megan.
Select any bread, any cheese, and any jelly. Spread 2 pieces of bread with butter. Place 1 piece, butter side down, in a skillet over medium heat and top with several slices of the cheese. Spread the unbuttered side of the other piece of bread with some jelly and put it jelly side down on top of the cheese. When the first side is browned, after about 3 minutes, flip the sandwich and cook until the other side has browned, about another 3 minutes. Serve while warm.
I’m not in the habit of cooking so I’ll wait for you to tell me how it turns out. Or maybe invite me over to your house.
This reminds me, I received an email weeks ago from a kind soul in San Francisco with below words attached:
What a cool project. I am Lisa’s cousin.
She had it on her facebook account what you are doing. Love it. When you make your way to SF we will make you dinner.
Cheers and Good Luck
Isn’t that amazing?! Every now and then we experience things that gives us an invisible nudge and whispers “hey you, keep doing this because it’s a good idea.”
I really hope I make it to SF and have dinner there! I also hope that Megan graces me with her company again. Because like many other people, I love laughing and feeling that I could tell the person I’m with that I beg to be in a food related press event and not feel judged.
A week later I rush quickly to meet Josh at a sushi place close to my work. Josh has been so agreeable to everything, I started worrying about him not coming the day of our dinner. Turns out, Josh is disgustingly nice. The place I chose was right around the corner from where I work and I picked it because it was easy for me to get to before running off to fail miserably at yoga. He not only is not a fan of sushi but he was worried about being late and drove to the loop and parked in a garage close-by where they charged him more than what I paid for his dinner. He was so nonchalant about it pissed me off. I’m the one who’s suppose to be doing something nice to you, not the other way around!
We didn’t waste time and when he told me about his kids I told him about my fear of ever having a child. All of a sudden you’re responsible for this creature thing. All of a sudden I have the next world destroyer in my hands and I wouldn’t know what to do with it. Josh assured me that it’s something that kicks in as soon as the child comes to this world. A hidden talent of sorts that is activated upon the birth of your child. I’m still not sure I’d like to have one myself but if the time comes then I’ll remember that piece of information.
What was fun to discover is Josh’s sense of humor. I can’t think of more than five people that I have ever met with similar delivery of jokes. When he told me he has a fountain of youth in his apartment I thought he was either crazy or that he really did have one and I better make best friends with him very fast. He’s also a poet. He brought it up following the fountain of youth tale so I had to ask him twice if he was telling me the truth. Later during the night I asked if he would email me something to share with everyone. He said yes but I haven’t heard from him yet. Shame on you Josh! See, you’re not that nice after all!
Rear Window
Have you ever seen Rear Window? It’s about this guy who watches where he’s not suppose to. I just had the same experience. I admit, I was inappropriate and looked into my Rear Window. I saw a shadow in the shower struggling to wash his back. I realized then that that’s exactly the type of problem I have while in the shower: I can’t wash my back with ease. There has got to be major maneuvers before I feel like I’ve got the back area covered. Now that I’ve seen a stranger do it, I can tell that others have the same problem. See…we’re not that different after all, which is the what I’ve been trying to prove for a while. Why can’t others see through their Rear Window and see that others are having the same issues. Suddenly, sneaking in an inappropriate look isn’t that bad.
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January: Week 4. Dinner 4. Melissa.
4 dinners are done. 4 dinners with strangers that taught me about themselves and what connects them to me and the rest of the world. A mere 4 dinners that translates to so much knowledge and wisdom that I’ve gained and hope you did too. This post does come a little late than it’s suppose to. I still have to thank Melissa for being nice enough to excuse my cold that I had that night. She even gave me a hug at the end post my warnings that I’m full of cold germs. What a brave soul!
It’s taken me a long time to write this. The cold I had and the fuzzy memory has a lot to do with it. I’ve started writing it and rewriting it for at least 4 times. The fear of it being a short one has stopped me from just doing it. No matter how much I hear from great writers and speakers advising others to stop doubting, it creeps into me. I’ve changed my settings: different coffee shops, different bedrooms and different work stations. Nothing seemed to work. Then I turned on Nina Simone and things seem to have finally picked up. Thank you world, for Nina Simone.
Melissa might be the first New Yorker I’ve met that thinks that the restaurant scene in Chicago is so much more fun and delicious than in New York. GO CHICAGO!
After working at TIME Inc. for a while, she decided to concentrate more on a smaller arena and is now happy living in Chicago. Just because she’s getting involved in the startup world, by no means is she the type of person that doesn’t challenge herself. After barely graduating college she pitched a magazine idea to TIME. I barely have enough courage to pitch Salt Bread and Sami to strangers!
While eating tacos and drinking a margarita at Mercadito, Melissa shared this little piece of wisdom that she learned. She said that someone once told her that if she has an idea that she thinks is a great one then she needs to keep going. People always will question your thoughts and motives but that should strengthen your resolve to keep going. Until you start seeing double due to lack of sleep. That last part was my addition; although, I doubt I can ever do that. Sleep is one of the most delicious things on this planet. I’ll sleep when I’m dead but I won’t wake up and indulge in the feeling that I’ve just had a great sleep.
I emailed Melissa asking if she had an addtions that she might have and she had a great point about adding what I’ve learned from our dinner. She was right, I did learn (instead of hear or read) about trusting that I needed to publish this post and create the work without worrying about how the end result might look like.
Thank you, Melissa!
Read MoreJanuary: Week 3. Dinner 3. Greg.
Sometimes, if we’re really lucky, we meet people like Greg.
At first glance, Greg is a smart handsome attorney that met his incredibly nice and beautiful wife when they challenged each other on who would solve a crossword puzzle first while they were studying in law school. If it only ended there I would have thought that this was a successful Salt Bread and Sami. I’m learning that you meet your partner(s) in the oddest most unexpected way. More and more I see the glass not half empty but almost full thanks to these strangers.
But there’s a lot more to tell you about Greg. I’ve forgot to count but Greg lived in at least 5 cities, both in and out of the United States. I’m pretty sure the number is closer to ten when I think about it. He grew up and moved
around in the Midwest but then it was Tennessee, Peru, Germany, China then back to Chicago. The order of the countries might be mixed but I blame the delicious Manhattan at Duchamp. If you ever find yourself there, get the steak tartar! Delicious!
When he was a in his late teens he moved to Tennessee for an adventure. There he played in a band and listened to great music. Even though he wasn’t making much he was young and happy. I thought about my time when I moved to the States at 16. When you’re young you don’t give much thought to consequences. You think and then you do and what comes after will be your problem when it becomes your problem. There were days when I couldn’t afford food so I would live on heating milk in the microwave to calm down the hunger and hope for more tips tomorrow. Thinking back, I wasn’t sad by it. On the contrary, I have very fond memories of those days. I think Greg might think the same way too. When he was in Peru he told me that about food poisoning and sleeping on hard floors but all the while he had a smile on his face. The kind of smile you have when you think of Chicago summer days on a friend’s porch.
Before starting law school he found himself teaching English in a “small town” in China. I put the quotation marks because he then proceeded to tell me that the population of said town was 1.5 million.
Once he came back, he started and finished law school and started working.
His favorite Lucinda Williams album is Car Wheels on a Gravel Road. Songs that are so simple in words but so strong in delivery.
We chatted about working environments and how some jobs you have in your lifetime are a lot like a past relationships. Remember how you had that crazy girlfriend/boyfriend and whenever you think about her or him, you think about the spontaneous trips, the really late nights, the adrenaline rush of sneaking away and doing something less than socially acceptable? Sometimes we have jobs like that. We think of all the great things we went through but we know that it was always a doomed relationship. It brings back exciting memories but absolute content that it’s no longer part of your life because if it was for the long run then it would have destroyed you. I think most of us out there go through that phase. I remember a time when I would work 20 hours a day because it felt so exhilarating to be able to push both my mental and physical limits.
The thing about this dinner is that I often felt like I was talking as much about myself as Greg was to me about himself. Our conversation felt like a safe territory to say things and not be worried about judgmental thoughts and I couldn’t help but tell him things I rarely say. I told him about how guilty I felt sometimes when I feel anger or stress due to a hard day at work. The guilt feels so incredible when I know others are struggling so hard to put a meal on their table. I know this because I’ve been there. I asked him if he ever felt like that, especially with his volunteer work in South America. In the kindest, most nonjudgmental way possible he said that it’s kind of a cop-out. We can’t punish ourselves for why we have different things that we worry about. It doesn’t make my worries any less important or valid than any others and vice versa. It filled me with infinite sense of relief to hear it from him.
Few days later I started writing this post and I remembered what Greg told me about his time when he was very involved in doing good in different parts of the world. He told me about working with hospice patients and how life is suddenly not as linear as it sometimes is when you’re back home. How life doesn’t become about you. This triggered another memory I had of reading a quote. I wish I can remember who wrote it. I even searched the world wide web for it. While it’s owner remains unknown to me, its words will always be in my memory.
In seeking happiness for others, you find it for yourself.
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January: Week 2. Dinner 2. Sue.
“We’re always afraid of missing something”, Sue told me.
This became more and more evident as our dinner at Vivo Restaurant went on. I’m still so thankful that she braved the snow storm to come meet me. It’s amazing that it’s only my second dinner and I’m completely taken aback about how similar people are. We all have similar hopes, dreams and wishes about the type of life we’d like to lead.
It’s an understatement to say that I had “writable quotes” from Sue. Every time she said something about the human behavior I would reply with “Yes! You’re so right.”
At some point during our dinner, between bread and veal ravioli for me and Sue’s salmon, we got to talking about traveling. How much we both love it and how much more affordable it is than people think. During a perfect Barcelona sunset, Sue came to that conclusion and started Posh Ports. She loves traveling and has more than enough under her globe trotting belt to cause me so much travel envy. I bet her and Zach would have a lot to talk about!
Another understatement? To say that Sue has experienced more than one life. After a decade or two of working for a big (really BIG) advertising agency she decided that she wanted to start something new. We’ve heard many stories (or maybe just me) about people leaving their fantastic job to start a new company or take up a new profession. What I love about Sue is that she was completely happy and very capable at her position but she decided that it’s time to change. She didn’t have an idea and that was okay. In the next few months she took a break. Now she has a great travel site and still does work that’s similar to her background but it’s according to her rules now. The best part? She’s scheduled to travel at least 20 times in 2012.
I also learned about what I might miss out on living further from the city. The sense of community is so much stronger in the far ends of Chicago when you compare it to downtown and neighboring areas. An example? It seems that there will be a reorganization in Sue’s district that will force, people she knew for years, out of the district they’re in now. Most of us city dwellers would not have cared less by this. Not Sue and her neighbors. They might not be able to change the rules but they’re not going down easily. They’ve created a strong community around their neighborhood that the thought of not belonging to it causes a big conundrum. It would be an honor to me to belong to such wonderful community one day.
Turns out Sue and I also share a passion for art…and watching meltdowns on the Bachelor/Bachelorette franchise. Sometimes it’s just so hard to look away! Back to art. We talked about how lucky we are to have such great museums in Chicago and why we agreed that photography is as much a form of art as painting. She said something that I wish I’d known to say the last time I was having a conversation with someone who thought that because photography is very accessible, it does not qualify it as an art form. Well, Sue says, that in the same token, anyone can paint a picture. It’s just as easy as taking a photograph. Remember “My Kid Could Paint That“? She then told me about her father-in-law. He’s an art collector and against most assumptions he loves modern art. In fact, if you visit his home you’ll see that he’s a proud owner of an Ellsworth Kelly.
I am sure that if we attempted, our dinner would have lasted longer than the 2-3 hours we were together but the snow storm’s course was unpredictable and as I learned from my kindergarten teacher: safety comes first. I wasn’t worried, I knew that I would meet Sue again and we would continue our conversation about art, traveling and how to make the world so much smaller than it already is. I left dinner thinking back at what she told me about how we’re always afraid of missing something. It occurred to me that labeling myself as someone with ADD (undiagnosed) might not be a bad thing after all. I actually am growing to like it because it allows me to do so many things that I love doing. Stopping and taking a breath of a beautiful sunset is great but after that it’s back to racing against the clock to see how much I can accomplish in this little time I have.
Benjamin Franklin once said: Dost thou love life, then do not squander time, for that’s the stuff life is made of.
I hope that every bit of time I have I always use wisely since it can all disappear without notice.
January: Week 1. Dinner 1. Zach.
It all started with a Facebook poke for Zach‘s most important love story. Cheesy as it may sound I’ve never seen someone so excited to talk about how he met his soon to be wife. Just thinking about it makes me feel like I’m involved in the storyline of many books you see on the “romantic fiction” shelves at your local bookstore. True, they say that art imitates life but with so many art and so little life to base it on we start to grow skeptic. Maybe that’s why I smirk at those romantic titles I see.
Back to Zach.
Zach’s romantic life started to take flight when he Facebook poked a girl he liked. Here I am, thinking that if someone did that to a girl she would run the opposite way. I’m sure both you and I have had our share of unsolicited poking on Facebook. Turns out, sometimes it actually works! Few years later, Zach asks her to spend the rest of her life with him and she said yes!
Side note, I consulted the internet and it seems like there is a traditional way to propose:
on your left knee with the right knee up.
(like you would kneel to be knighted)
you hold the ringbox in the left hand so that your right hand can open it.
Who knew! Does it work the same if you’re left-handed? I wonder…
Zach mentioned that he had few words prepared to say before he would ask her but they’ve completely escaped him and he popped the question before he could realize that he was suppose to say something before “will you marry me?” which made me think about how so many times we try to prepare for what lies ahead but what happens in the future remains unpredictable.
Before meeting up with Zach I was very anxious. Being confined in the same space with one person for an extended amount of time can go horrifically wrong. This is certainly one thing that worried me before starting this project. The idea of being stuck with a stranger that is unwilling to talk for 2-3 hours and the terror of not having anything to write about was almost big enough to derail Salt Bread and Sami. I did come to the conclusion, after much deliberation with my inner self, that if someone said yes to having dinner with me then they most likely are expecting to share some of their history with me.
Thankfully Zach was very generous. When the food arrived at Hub 51 (fish tacos!), the subject of travel came up. Turns out, a much younger person trumps my knowledge of the subject. I never admit that I know more than the average person of the subject but the truth of the matter is once you’ve been bitten by the travel bug you’re almost always going to see the rest of your future traveling as soon as opportunity reveals itself. That’s why travel sites have become a daily dose of morning routine — what am I missing and where can I go next. Turns out, I’ve missed a lot that Zach hasn’t. I knew that Israel would be a great place to visit. More than once I’ve entertained the idea of Tel Aviv. But I didn’t know there were so many other places to be discovered in Israel. He told me about Eilat, a resort town famous for its diving and desert activities. It sounded like a relaxing heaven after a few days of the city life at Tel Aviv. I’ve also have never heard of Cinque Terre (which I pronounced as one word when he told me about it. Bad Sami. Bad! Bonus points for you if you can figure out what Cinque Terre means).
When our conversation about traveling ended I felt happy about my ignorance. I not only needed to travel more but to learn more, read more!
The dinner was over and I’ve learned so much about Zach, love at first poke and places I’m going to travel to. Salt Bread and Sami was off to a great start and I couldn’t be more excited about the next 51 strangers I’m going to meet and learn from. Learn about myself and the world we live in. 51 more strangers that will allow me to share their stories with you. I know it’ll be a different style of conversation and writing every week which is more than I could ever ask for as an inspiration to keep writing.
I’m reminded of a Mark Twain quote that a friend sent me. I hope it sticks with you like it did with me and maybe push you to do something you haven’t done before.
Read MoreTwenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.
Rejection Is Hard but Acceptance Feels Great!
I’ve mentioned this before to you. This idea is a lot like my baby. As most parents, I think that my kid is the most handsome, smartest and funny one in school. This is what I thought when I started asking strangers on the street and tweeting others to see if they’re up for this idea that I thought is one of the coolest thing they will hear.
The first time is always the hardest. I went to the Art Institute and wondered the halls trying to find someone that fit the description on the forum. I took off my layers of jacket, scarf and sweater because I didn’t want to sweat profusely and look like someone that should be avoided at all costs. I finally found someone, mustered up all the courage I had and flashed as much of my smile as possible and asked what seemed to be an open-minded, fun loving, liberal woman if she has a minute to chat. Looked at me up & down, gave me a dissatisfied look and said “what for?”. I say “said” because she wasn’t asking. I thought to myself that this is part of the game, be nice, smile wider and start telling her about this amazing idea that you have and she’ll fall head over heels with it. I told her. I smiled and waited for her to weep tears of joy.
“Actually, I’m not interested.” I’m sorry? Can I ask why? She said she has a train to catch later that night. But…but this is for the rest of the year. We can do it in any week of the year! “Sorry, not interested, but good luck. It sounds like a great idea!” Well, if you thought it was a great idea you would have said yes or at least showed me some compassion.
I walked away, my heart a little broken but I told myself that this is only the first person. If it was that easy then it wouldn’t have been worth the work! So I asked a second person, a third, a fourth and by the time I asked the fifth I didn’t care if they fit a description of a forum entry. I just wanted someone to say yes. My world started turning grey with invisible clouds. Rejection after another I grew less confident, my body started shrinking and my flashy smile was as forced as telling someone on a death bed that it’ll be okay. I sent out tweets, DM’s, Facebook posts but to no avail. So I decided to retreat. If I wasn’t going to project my passion then this is counterproductive. I left the museum and went home and for the next few days I sulked. I sulked until a friend of mine came to my rescue when I told her about what happened and how I’m in a funk. She said: It affects all creative spirits, so just know it’s part of your magical aura and you can’t be magical without FEELING deeply sometimes.
I love my friends!
So the new year came and I promised myself that what happened few weeks ago will not happen again. I restarted my search and thought about trying to start modest and reach out to strangers on Twitter. Within an hour or so I received 3 responses agreeing to be part of Salt Bread and Sami. The first person that said yes came as an enormous shock to me. “Wait, so you know what this is about, right? Are you sure? You really want to be part of this? Thank you, thank you so much!” I screamed at my computer screen.
So tonight is my first dinner and I couldn’t have been more excited about it!
The more than few rejections seems so trivial when I finally got my yes. I hope you never deal with that many rejections but if you do, please know that on the other side of these rejections there’s an amazing acceptance waiting for you to unlock.
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Testing…testing…can you hear me?
Hello friends,
Have you gotten a chance to head over to the forum to suggest random traits of strangers that I’ll ask out to dinner? If you haven’t then please take a moment to go there and participate. January is fast approaching and so far I’ve only found one stranger. I would really love for this to start with a good bang and it won’t happen without you. You have my utmost gratitude and if I found a person through a suggestion you entered then you get to be on same post too!
Yours truly,
Sami
Read MoreSo it Starts
Here we go! I’m writing this, full of excitement and nervousness at the same time. This blog is my newborn and I’m so worried about it. Will it grow up to be strong and wise? Will others accept it for what it is — with its flaws? I don’t know the answers to any of these questions but I will give it all the love I can give.
Please read the About the Mission sections: About, Suggest a Diner and the Rules of Engagement. I trust that with the help of everyone, this project can be something very spectacular!
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